Tag Archive | kids

When is mommy officially “off”?

Tara, over at The Young Mommy Life, recently wrote a post about when you feel your family doesn’t appreciate you. I have to say that I knew exactly what she meant in that situation and have definitely been there. However, my downfall is that I was never good at sharing and disclosing those feelings because I always have a sense of “I shouldn’t feel entitled to this” or “why do I really deserve that”.

Lately, I have been experiencing these feelings more often since I had my newborn. With needing to breastfeed him every hour, make meals for all four of us throughout the day, keep my toddler busy, and try to get some work done within the three hours that Dukey is off at school, I am exhausted by the time my husband gets home. Yet, I still manage to make dinner and get both of the boys ready for bedtime.

It is starting to get to a point where I am getting snappy and frustrated with everyone and am losing my sanity.

I can’t help but ask when will I get to “clock out”.

I am so in need of a spa day or something but, more importantly, I have to learn how to ask for help when I need it. I know I am not the only mother to feel this way but it feels weird to even think about asking for help.

When I ask for help, it makes me feel inferior. As if I am not capable of handling it on my own and even when that may be true, I guess I just have a hard time admitting it.

But, I am going to have to learn how to and enjoy myself. Doing so will help me to be a better me for everyone so it is most definitely needed.

Chime in and share your thoughts! What is your cure for work-a-mommy-holic?

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The sibling rivalry thing is no joke!

I remember as children when my brother and I used to fight. Sometimes we would go at as if we wanted to kill each other (and, literally sometimes would try!). You would never know it from looking at us because we were very close but I guess the differences in us just wouldn’t mesh at times.

Now that I have children of my own, I see how it is very different watching as a parent on the other side. As my youngest (for now) is approaching two years old, the fights between him and his older brother (five years old) are a lot more violent than they used to be. Toys are thrown (usually by the 2-year-old), blows are thrown (also usually by the 2-year-old) and mean words are said.

I try not to get involved and let them work out their problems alone so no one feels like I am taking sides and they learn to work through problems on their own. However, today my two boys were arguing about something while I was in another room for a few minutes. They kept going back and forth but I couldn’t really pinpoint exactly what they were talking about. All of a sudden, I heard…

“I HATE YOU”!

WHOAAA…WHAT?!!!

I called my older son Duke-y into the room where I was and asked him, “Did I just hear you say, ‘I hate you’ to your brother”? He gave me that guilty stare. Then, I explained to him that they are brothers and there will be times when they will argue, fight, and not get along. I said there will surely be times when they don’t like each other and that it is normal but I don’t EVER want to hear either of them say that word to each other. I told him to go downstairs and apologize to his younger brother.

I was still shocked that he had even said that and I was trying to go back and think about where he could have gotten that from. So many thoughts went through my mind in those quick few seconds. Will he have anger issues? Should I be worried that they will be arch enemies as they get older? Did my brother and I say things like that to each other when we were younger?

I stopped myself after a while and realized that I was overreacting because looking at my boys personalities’ and knowing their hearts, I can see that this was just a normal moment of sibling rivalry. There are moments like this and then there are moments when they’re apart for days at a time and can’t stop hugging each other because they’re so happy that they’re back together. I just have to do my best to direct their emotions correctly and pray that in the future they will be as tight as can be, just as I imagine!

Do you think I handled this situation correctly? How do you handle it when your children fight and argue?