Tag Archive | family

Uh…I’m Sorry…What Was That Again?

So now that it is has been about 3 weeks since I had Baby J, I feel like I am starting to get the hang of things again, at least somewhat close to how I managed things before. I’ve been learning how to use the three hours  that Dukey is away at school (he only has half days, yeah, I know that sucks) to get things done such as laundry, playing with my toddler for at least an hour of that time, and preparing lunch for when Dukey gets back home. There are times when I can barely have 5 minutes to take a shower but, hey 2 minutes is better than none, right?

The only problem with this is that my mind is beginning to feel like it is on auto-pilot. I’m constantly feeding somebody (whether on a plate or with my boobs), cleaning somebody, or cleaning after somebody. By the time the two oldest kids are asleep and I only have to feed and change Baby J, I am exhausted and can barely think.

 I’m finding myself making the stupidest mistakes. I know it has something to do with REM sleep (you know, like when a child doesn’t get their nap they become overtired and have a hard time falling asleep). I mean, I had my share of crazy “oops” moments before Baby J (you know what I’m talking about…oh crap, I left the remote in the ‘frig) but now it’s like everything.

The other day I caught myself trying to put my 1 year old’s socks on! It took me a good two minutes to understand why I couldn’t fit them on my feet! Then, I emailed Dukey’s school bus supervisor to ask for a change in the bus stop since there was a stop that was closer to our house where they dropped off other kids that would work for us too and when I emailed HIM, I wrote “Hello Mrs. (fill in the blank)”. OOPS! I didn’t realize it until he sent an email back and answered my question. Thankfully, he didn’t mention it but I made sure to send an email back with the correct salutation.

I know that as Baby J gets older, things will get easier but for now, I hope people can look past my retardiness (not sure if that is a word but you get the point!).

I think maybe making and sticking to a schedule may help….another thing on my to-do list…

The sibling rivalry thing is no joke!

I remember as children when my brother and I used to fight. Sometimes we would go at as if we wanted to kill each other (and, literally sometimes would try!). You would never know it from looking at us because we were very close but I guess the differences in us just wouldn’t mesh at times.

Now that I have children of my own, I see how it is very different watching as a parent on the other side. As my youngest (for now) is approaching two years old, the fights between him and his older brother (five years old) are a lot more violent than they used to be. Toys are thrown (usually by the 2-year-old), blows are thrown (also usually by the 2-year-old) and mean words are said.

I try not to get involved and let them work out their problems alone so no one feels like I am taking sides and they learn to work through problems on their own. However, today my two boys were arguing about something while I was in another room for a few minutes. They kept going back and forth but I couldn’t really pinpoint exactly what they were talking about. All of a sudden, I heard…

“I HATE YOU”!

WHOAAA…WHAT?!!!

I called my older son Duke-y into the room where I was and asked him, “Did I just hear you say, ‘I hate you’ to your brother”? He gave me that guilty stare. Then, I explained to him that they are brothers and there will be times when they will argue, fight, and not get along. I said there will surely be times when they don’t like each other and that it is normal but I don’t EVER want to hear either of them say that word to each other. I told him to go downstairs and apologize to his younger brother.

I was still shocked that he had even said that and I was trying to go back and think about where he could have gotten that from. So many thoughts went through my mind in those quick few seconds. Will he have anger issues? Should I be worried that they will be arch enemies as they get older? Did my brother and I say things like that to each other when we were younger?

I stopped myself after a while and realized that I was overreacting because looking at my boys personalities’ and knowing their hearts, I can see that this was just a normal moment of sibling rivalry. There are moments like this and then there are moments when they’re apart for days at a time and can’t stop hugging each other because they’re so happy that they’re back together. I just have to do my best to direct their emotions correctly and pray that in the future they will be as tight as can be, just as I imagine!

Do you think I handled this situation correctly? How do you handle it when your children fight and argue?