Tag Archive | three kids

Don’t Judge Me!

While I was walking down the street, I happened to overhear two neighbors talking to each other about me. One was pointing towards my house and I heard, “The girl has three kids for God’s sakes! I mean, you have to think about these kinds of things!” The other one just nodded her head and agreed.

This conversation, of course, just, as my old teacher would have said…’burned my cheese’.

These ladies barely ever say two words to me and do not know me from a can of paint! I was just so annoyed at how people try to taint a good thing.

Don’t get me wrong, I get it. I’m young, I don’t drive, I don’t work outside the home,  and…I have THREE kids (which, is like a “full house” nowadays). Granted, my husband and I did not plan Baby J and had we thought about it beforehand, we would most likely have decided against it. But, in the end, we chose to keep him and accept the responsibility that comes with it. So to make that comment as if it is a precursor of what is to come in the future is so…stupid.

Everyone has SOMETHING that others can consider a downfall or deterrent but no one can decide what that will entail for YOU but YOU. This will not be the last time someone will judge me but it surely won’t be enough to hold me back and make me fight for my dreams.

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The Family Emergency Room

Hey blog family! I have had so much that I wanted to tell you but finding the time to actually get it out there is the problem.

When I first started this blog, Living in a Jungle, I was planning to give you a chronicle of my “crazy”life with my two boys. I had no idea that a year later, I would be adding another baby to the mix and would learn what a “crazy” lifestyle is really like! I am still planning to share my birth story with you guys but that will take a little time.

As for now, I wanted to allow you to come along with me in my journey from a family of four to five. When I was pregnant with Baby J, I researched blogs of mothers with three or more children to get a perspective of what this change would be like but, in my opinion, not many gave the nitty-gritty on that new adjustment. One website that helped me to understand this change the most was www.HavingThreeKids.com.

From some of the ones that I read, many said that going from two to three kids is the hardest adjustment…and from what I am going through now, I would seriously agree! Of course, it depends on the ages of the children but…I digress.

How I would explain this change is that it is somewhat like a family emergency room.There is usually a sense of urgency going on everywhere at all times:

Dukey: Mom, LJ (Poopy) won’t share this toy with me!

LJ: Aaaaaah, give it back!

Baby J: Waaah, waaah, waah!

This is all while changing a diaper so you’re rushing to get through it. Two seconds later, a fight breaks out and there’s screaming and weapons being thrown all over the room. At this time, you realize you have three choices: 1) holler loud enough to get their attention and make them stop or 2) try to maneuver yourself and the naked baby (hoping that he doesn’t pee on you) over to the fighting siblings and break it up, or 3) do nothing, let them scream and fight (hoping no one pokes an eye out) until they stop. I usually pick the third option, which often ends in the older two making up on their own and becoming best friends again.

However, just like in an emergency room, there are periods of tranquility when no one’s hurt and you’re just waiting for the ball to drop. Your kids are playing together quietly and happily and you’re able to sit back and watch them. When those moments come around, it makes those “crazy” moments of urgency seem insignificant (sometimes anyway, I will admit it does linger some days).

Even with all of that, despite the fact that I am always changing diapers, making meals, giving baths, wiping noses, helping with homework, or breaking up fights, I have never felt more complete and more needed.

Adding another child is a big decision that takes contemplating, but for me, I can say that it was a wise decision and a great blessing that I do not regret.

Welcome Home Baby J!

Hey people! Sorry it’s been so long. I was extremely busy in the past month with preparing Dukey for kindergarten and preparing for the new baby. As you probably already figured out, I had him already. He was born on September 11 (lucky baby, huh?) at 8 lbs. 1 and a half ounces.

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I have so much to share about that, actually getting myself to go into labor, Isaiah’s first day of school, and adjusting to three kids under 6. Let’s just say that time is a luxury that I miss now and it’s a little challenging to manage it (yet imperative to do). So blogging, I’ll admit, will probably slow down until I get the hang of things and learn to manage my newborn, my one year old, and my five-year old.

After a week of handling things, I think I’m getting it and starting to have my own routine going so it shouldn’t be long before I am up and running like before.

Is a family of five the perfect fit for us?

Out of all my pregnancies, honestly, this one was the biggest surprise. The last thing I was thinking about was having another child at that time. I was working vigorously as an insurance/investment adviser and I didn’t notice much for about four months.

Because my family doesn’t believe in birth control, we have relied on natural methods in the past, more specifically, the “withdrawal” method. It worked just fine for five years until I got pregnant with my second son and again now when I got pregnant with my third.

With this third pregnancy, I’ve had many people, including doctors, ask me about our birth control plans for the future. Most people have thought it would be smart for me to have my tubes tied because they believe our family is complete with three children.

 

Being that I am an advocate of natural methods (no medicines, no chemicals, no preservatives in food, etc.), I try to avoid anything that will mess with the natural flow of my body. So most birth control methods are out of the question for me due to the added hormones. Not to mention, every time I turn on the TV, there’s a commercial about some medical defect or risks that occurred (or can occur) from someone using some new birth control. 

In the past, I was leaning towards Mirena since it was a one-time procedure and could last until at least the next five years if I wanted it to. But then, the commercials came and friends who took it told me horror stories of others that had taken it and had to get surgery because the device got lost in their stomachs. (Of  course docs say it is rare and doesn’t happen to many people but, uh)

…ENOUGH SAID for me. 

I am strongly opposed to getting surgery for reasons that are not serious and, to me, preventing the birth of another child is just not that important to risk my health for. 

With that said, I have been debating on whether to use Paragard or other natural methods altogether such as the Rhythm/Calendar method or Fertility Awareness. With the first one, it is still a one-time procedure and can last for up to 10 years with no added hormones. The other natural methods do require more regular monitoring so I’m a little nervous about those. 

I, honestly, still haven’t made a decision as to what I will do but I know whatever I decide, it will be the right one for our family. The “perfect sized family” can have many definitions for different families. Some may want one, some none, most two, and a rare few many. No one should be the judge of what size family is a good fit for you. That decision should be left to you and your spouse, only.

I will say that a part of that decision should involve whether you would be able to handle the responsibility of another addition to your family but again, that decision should be left to you and your spouse, ONLY.

Let me hear your thoughts? Should one give in to the pressures of what others think you should do for your family or should you stand firm for what your family wants?

 

Just when I thought my life was already crazy…

So here goes…about a month ago, I noticed some signs and I started to “show” (yeah, I know, a day late and a dollar short). So my husband and my mother urged me to take a pregnancy test. I was kind of avoiding it because I have a habit of believing that if I ignore things it will go away. So anyway, I took two tests and like one second later it shows that I’m pregnant. At first, I felt like I hadn’t read pregnancy tests in so long so when I misread it and thought that it said negative, I was like heck yeah! Then, I looked back at the box and realized it was really positive so I screamed…really loud

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***************So this was about a month ago.*********

Now, I go to the doctor’s office because when I scheduled the appointment they told me they didn’t have anything available until the next month. So on the appointment,  the doc says judging by my last menstrual (at least, the last one I remember. Come on don’t act like you don’t forget if those things don’t show up!) I will be due on July 31st. So I’m like what oh hecks no, that can’t be right! So he tells me to calm down and that by my measurements of my belly, I look to be about 16 weeks which gives me another month. Not much to go with but I’ll take it.

I was just freaked out learning this last month and now I feel thrown into the middle of a pregnancy and I literally have to rush to get everything together for this new addition. But, I have to say, I eased up when I got to hear that little heartbeat in my tummy! It was so magical! I’m still a little nervous though because I have been wondering how different life will be now with three kids instead of 2. So I’ve been reading all these different blogs to get a gist of the new life I will have as well as watching and observing other moms I see with three or more kids.

Actually, when my husband and I were at Taco Bell/KFC yesterday with our kids, we noticed a lady who was pregnant and with her 3 kids ages five, three, and one. I was so amazed at how calm she was and how quietly the kids sat there while she went to order the food. That is, until I saw the chaos that exploded after about 10 minutes of sitting there (yeah, it was pretty crowded in there). The two youngest who are both girls start screaming and fighting over something. Then, it quickly escalated and the one year old girl starts pulling the 3 year old girl’s hair and they’re getting louder and fighting. So then, I guess to tune them out, the oldest son starts singing really loud over them. To me, it was funny because I know how it can be with my two boys fighting all the time. The mom didn’t even seem the least bit surprised or even angry. She just came over smoothly and scooped up the 1 year old girl from her highchair and went back to ordering as if nothing happened. I was so amazed! I mean, don’t get me wrong I think I’m pretty good at handling a little heated debate between the boys but always get really embarrassed when it’s in public and I usually am like lost on what to do or something.

That really got me to thinking about how life is going to change with this new addition and how I need to prepare. So like I said, I’ve been looking at a lot of blogs to get a feel for it. Here are some I have been reading:

Being Miss Elaine-ous at the Miss Elaine-ous Life

jkkclinton.blogspot.com/

http://notesfromhome.com/2007/02/19/tips-coping-with-three-children-under-five/

HavingThreeKids.com

TheNaturalMommy.com

Lifewiththreekids.wordpress.com

Later I’ll post on what I’ve found and what I’ve learned. But, for now if you have any other blogs relevant to this situation that you’d like to mention feel free to post them as well as any tips you have for managing three under five and how I should prepare. Thanks a bunch in advance! See you next time!