Hey jungle family! So I’ve been feeling a little nervous lately. I guess it’s finally hitting me that in less than 2 months, I’ll have another one added to the family and this brood that I have to wrangle with (or keep from wrangling each other) is going to get more challenging.
Thinking about the endless fights, the meal preparation, and the breast-feeding. Don’t even get me started on the sleep schedules. AND, all of this on top of preparing my son for kindergarten? Uh…not happening!
So with all of that, I couldn’t help but think…where does work or life for myself fit in? Can I still have success and a life outside of them?
That led me to do a little research on big families. What I found made me a little more depressed at first: ‘Children of big families generally have lower IQs’, ‘working moms of three or more are less likely to have jobs’, and those with big families have to do a lot more stretching in terms of their budget and therefore, can’t give their children things and opportunities that those with fewer children can.
However, as I did more research, I realized that all of these studies and “experiences” from other people were just that…from other people. None of these people are me (not to say I am this brilliant super star…oh, you say I am..ok, thanks!) and nor do they have control over my life and what I choose to make of it.
Who says I have to spend thousands (or even hundreds) of dollars to send my child somewhere where they will learn stuff that I can teach them myself or someone else I know or can find? I mean, everything you want to know how to do is on the internet nowadays anyway.What kinds of families were these studies studying when looking at the IQs of their children? Did the parents really spend quality time with their kids or did they plop them in front of the TV and called it a day?
And, again, what families were they comparing when they said that moms of three or more are less likely to work? I sure know a few mom friends that have chosen to work despite the amount of kids they have. Some are successful and some aren’t because just like Laura VanderKam said from CBS news, “More Kids Won’t Kill Your Career…Unless You Want Them To“.
…But, ok, the last bit I’ll give them. Big families may have a little more stretching to do and a little less glamour and luxury. But, really, is that the value I want to instill in my children? Being rich and careless with your money? Nobody is saying we have to struggle but we definitely don’t have to have the best of everything. I think my kids will value money and things that much more when they’re older because they’ve learned to “stretch” when they had little or none.
All in all, I am not going to let ANYONE (including myself) put a stamp on the destinies of my family or big families in general because life is what you make it. I know if I work smart (not hard), we can live the life that we choose. In fact, I actually read that more wealthy families are choosing to have three kids or more.
Therefore, that told me one thing: we (big families) are meant to be somebodies and have success. Call it backwards thinking but, so what, we have the kids first, many others have found success as well despite the odds. Why can’t you or me? Jesus died on that cross to give all of us a better life and He surely has done a good job of it so far for my family. No reason to give up on Him now…
SO as Mary Mary says, let’s GO GET IT!!